Rediscover your body postpartum

   When can you declare that this will be your new normal after a baby? This is a tough question and one that is (like so many physiological and sexual things) dependent on many factors. In general, note qualification, give yourself 1 year after you're done breastfeeding. At that point the hormones will have (mostly) subsided; you'll still be feeling the ones that want you to have another baby right away, but those help when it comes to sex, instead of hurt, and most of the physical ramifications of pregnancy and lactation will have also come to rest.

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   After a year, take a hot bath or shower, maybe drink a glass of wine, and tell your partner it's time to play. And I'm serious. We all get into sexual behavioral ruts. And quite frankly, if you're postpartum, things will have changed whether you delivered vaginally or by C-section. Take time when you have an hour or so and aren't exhausted, to play around with your partner.

   Discover what works now for you and what doesn't. And see what has changed for them as well. Maybe their go-to move isn't working anymore, this is the opportunity to show them and to see what feels better now. Maybe there's an angle at which they hit right where you had to have stitches, which even if doesn't result in pain, might not have any sensation anymore. Maybe breastfeeding means that anyone near your breasts sexually with their mouth is unbelievably weird now. But here's your chance to get to a "new normal" with yourself and your partner.

   This rediscovery is an excellent idea after any large physical change to your torso not just to "sexual" organs, and really every 7-8 years in general as both of you age and bodies change with that time. It's a different kind of play date, one to which your spouse is invited and welcome. It's also an excellent and defined setting in which to communicate both verbally and non-verbally on a subject which is very challenging even for the most open couples. And can bear out long lasting results of better sex for both of you.